How's the culture in our homes? What are the sights, sounds, smells, language, rituals and rules in our homes that tell us who we are and shape our children? What kind of culture are we developing in our homes, parents? Be conscious and deliberate about what you do. Be aiming for the standard always. Love the standard and teach your children to love the standard (i.e., holiness) by what you say and do. Remember, culture is unavoidable. We are always creating a culture. Whether it is a culture that is pleasing to the Lord and shaping your children in a positive direction is the only question that we must answer.
I want to remind you what that old wise guy with ten children said.
Wise old man? Not me. I'm young and vigorous. But I do have ten kids, several grown and all of them turning out OK. Stumbles and errors and sins and headaches and problems along the way, of course. But they are all turning out OK - better than OK; they're great kids, and I love them all to death and I'm terribly proud of every one of them.
Most of this is obvious, but the obvious stuff is the important stuff.
First, yes, of course, you messed them up already. You fathered them. To keep from messing them up already, you should have arranged for an immaculate conception. Too late for that. So, don't lose any more sleep over it; the question's answered; yes, you messed em up.
Second, faith is critical. You've got to do things, and you've got to strive to do it right. But you're going to do a lot of it wrong, and your hope for your kids is in God not in your ability to keep with a parenting program. Read Jeff [Meyers] on Ecclesiastes.
Third, love them. Tell them you love them. Show them you love them. Hug them, kiss them, laugh and play with them. Enjoy being around them. Listen to them, talk to them. Take them on dates. Sing with them. Eat dinner with them.
Fourth, love your wife/husband. You can't be a good parent and a bad spouse.
The rest takes care of itself.
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